it ain't easy

Falling in love is never easy. Why can't it be as simple as testing an application and reporting a buy, or programming a module and deploying it to production?

Why do two people have to go to charades with all these so called emotions? Why not just be straight to the point and say "I love you"? It puzzles me to point of total uncertainty.

I hope that they teach this to us in class back at first grade :)

Touched by an Angel

I went "skype" online last Thursday and chatted with one of my best REWSS friends named Mike. We had this usual "kamusta-mabuti" conversations. But then I told him that I am quite happy, he asked me again "Annie, kamusta ka talaga? yung totoo?" I was so touched by his sincerity.

I remembered that he is one of the guys I am with at REWSS during those good and not-so-good times. And I really came to love these people, they are my friends =)

The usual, I told him stories... He is like a brother... Then he reminded me again... And I said that I have already learned. There is one thing that I found really nice in our conversation:

Him: meron ako friend na nasira ang career dahil sa lovelife, nasaktan kasi ng sobra eh
Me: Oo nga, minsan hindi maiiwasan yun. So kamusta naman ung friend mo na yun ngayon?
Him: Ayun, nakahanap ng mas magandang trabaho hehehe
Me: Wow! Galing naman nun! Sino ba yun?
Him: Ikaw :)

He said that he is quite glad to hear that I am happy now because according to him, every time he sees me or talks to me, I look so hurt and lonely and he said that I don't deserve it. Such a nice guy :)

Glad

I decided that it is time to have my hair back to how it was used to be. After a year of having a long hair, I had it cut yesterday... I am so glad I did. =)

QA Assoc.

When I was walking down Market St. here at Philly, an idea suddenly comes to my mind. I think I want to organize a sort of QA association in the Philippines. An association where QAs could gather, share their experiences, ideas and have fun together as well...

I think it would be so wonderful =)

I don't remember anymore

I wanna thank God for all my blessings. He is indeed a GOOD GOD. Always in HIS perfect timing. I never thought that I would manage to get over something really really painful.

I am currently here at Philadelphia for a Macquarie project. Well, there is no other Filipino in the office and the people are really not that hospitable but I will survive, I know I will...

I have a very funny experience though. When they gave me my temporary pass/ID, they misspelled my nick name. So instead of "Annie" they spelled it as "Annia". Hahah! I found it really amusing. The weirdest part is, I felt absolutely nothing. Even now, I can view old photos of him or even photos of him with her without feeling a thing... I guess, I really had moved on.

As what the song says, "I remember the boy but I don't remember the feeling anymore."

Jollibee!!!

This video makes me really happy while I am here at Philly... Panalo talaga ang Jabee na itoh! Hahaha!!!

Old Wine

It is easy to make friends, but it is very difficult to maintain a true friendship. Only if one is really lucky, one will get a trusted friend. In the 21st century, it is hard to find a trusted friend, who stands by you. People claim to be friendly, but real friendship is time tested.

Old friends are like old wine. They mature with age. Wine improves with age if kept in the right conditions and checked regularly and when uncorked the taste is magnificent giving you a warm and satisfying feeling.

Traceability

Wow! I am working on a holiday! Hahaha!!! Geezzz... It is for free since we don't have OT pay... I am the test lead in one of the upcoming projects while playing the role of a test member/consultant/mentor in another project... I cannot concentrate that much in the office especially when there are lots of people asking questions about this and that, I brought my test planning task at home.

It has been a long time since I created a traceability matrix, I am a bit rusty and it seems that I have forgotten how it should be done properly. But with a little help from Google, I managed to remember things now... Hmmmm... (note to self) next time, I will secure a copy of all the documents that I have done. I have created a lot of documents, test plans, test cases, matrices and other deliverable before but I do not have copies of them hahaha for future reference.


Hmmmm.. have to get back to work, I guess =) coz I still have those "objectives" to work on after...

a new perspective

I had several realizations these past few days...

I have new motivational factors...

I have new things I want to do, places I want to see and people I want to meet...

and I will start now...

I am now thankful that all of those painful things happened to me.. No matter how painful they may seem during that time... It is because of those painful experiences that I decided to lead a different path and therefore led me to meet new people who gave me a new hope and perspective in life... I cannot imagine my life now without them... =)

I cannot imagine my life now without Detdet, Angie, Cates and Minet... Those people who made me laugh during the time that I am in so much confusion... People who made life at ADB bearable... People who understand how I feel...

I cannot imagine my life without KX, Chona, Victor, Arvin and Kats. I cannot imagine my life without KX and Chona most especially, my team mates... KX who prays for me, who gives me hope and who made me believe in God once more. Chona, who is always there to sympathize with me every time I feel so down and too lonely.

The sincerity of these people gives me strength. I cry occasionally nowadays at the office but these people are always there to lift me up... like brothers and sisters holding out their hands. When I feel like I just want to sit like a child at one corner of Ayala and just cry my heart out, they lift me up... Even those people who I don't know personally and are in a different team like Jet and Joy are so sweet and caring... Sincere people... they are my angels =)

and life goes on and on

After having one disappointment after another... another heartbreak, I am getting used to it, LMAO!!! It is like, I cry buckets of tears already. My tears are getting more and more expensive these days, I don't want to waste them anymore over someone not worth a single drop...

After finding out something, crying my heart out for the entire night, getting a bad headache the following morning, I am still alive today!!!

And yeah, I managed to continue my daily routine and my overwhelming tasks in the office. Then, I have time to meet up with old friends in Makati, laughing and banging my head off a cute Korean's, yeah... I have a wonderful night! Oh, we just had bottomless Margarita and tacos at Chili's... Life is soooo goooddd... I just had a salary raise, yeah... after spending only 3 months in my current job, they gave me a salary raise... It is not that much but it still a raise LOL!!! And besides, I am not expecting any raise that early in my employment! And an additional bonus... I was so surprised when I found out this afternoon... I was too sleepy but when I found out that I got myself a raise and additional bonuses (an overwhelming amount I must say), I went suddenly awake! As in WIDE-AWAKE!!!

So. as I had mentioned to my JP friend, I will already give up on my love life since I really suck in it. I will focus on my career since it seems like I am so good at it... Well, as they say, play with your strengths right?

As I said to one of our junior test analysts when she got drunk last night over tequila and she had a very embarrassing moment >> BEEN there, DONE that; the key is "anything that happened there, just leave it there and just move on"

and life goes on....

Murphy's Law at Caramoan

"Anything that can go wrong will go wrong"

I just came back from our Caramoan, Camarines Sur trip. Well, the trip is all worth it except for some "kamalasan" that we encountered during our first day. First, my friend and I left Batangas soooo early in the morning. Btw, our flight is 6:45am via Air Phil. Of all the days, we were stuck in traffic jam at STO. THOMAS!!! Wow!!! Of all the days, really... That was very unusual at 4am in the morning. Talagang di ako natulog sa bus kasi gusto ko malaman ang cause ng traffic para mavalidate man lang ang pagkaka-late namin. Susme, wala! walang aksidente! Sobrang dami lang talaga ng malalaking truck going to Batangas. So, we missed our plane because we were late by 10minutes! Great!!!

We had 2 choices: (1) just cancel the trip and refund everything; (2) be chance passengers and spend extra money for rebooking, fare difference, land transfer (because it is a scheduled trip, we also missed our land transfer and boat in Naga), etc.. etc...

My friend made me decide. I said that we risk it and go ahead as planned. There is only one available seat on the 9am flight. So we re-booked for the 1pm flight. But luckily, we were informed that one passenger canceled his 9am flight so there are now 2 available seats on the 9am flight. Oh no! We need to re-book again for the 9am flight and pay the fare difference. We re-booked twice since the first one can no longer be voided because it has already been validated by the system, unless someone do it via their database..... Hmmmm.. So we paid twice for the airfare! It is a good thing that I have extra money with me. Hahaha! Here is the ironic part. The 9am flight got delayed by 15 minutes!!!

Okay, so we thought that everything will go smoothly from then on. Our tour coordinator arranged some special land transfer just for both of us for an extra cost of 1500... But its alright.. We were informed that we have to catch the last boat trip at 1pm in Sabang port and my friend no longer have any money, just 1000 pesos and I only had 3000+ left. We stopped in front of BDO. It is a good thing I had my BDO atm with me... We were not able to see BPI or HSBC around. And Metrobank is offline! We were such in a hurry and because of that, my friend dropped her expensive cellphone! The LCD has been damaged really badly. I just treat her lunch to make her feel better.

The adventure didn't stop there. At Sabang Port, the boat is about to leave so we have to run really fast just to catch it! Hahaha!!! Grabe na ito! Pinalakpakan talaga kami ng mga pasahero nung bangka! Kakahiya! We arrived at Quijalo hahaha! We have so many bloopers. Our tour coordinator, Kuya Jojo said that we look for "Islao Avik" who will transfer us to Paniman Bay and we have to stay with Ate Tess (another coordinator) for the night. We asked all the drivers there if they know someone named "Islao Avik". They said that there is no "Islao Avik" but there is "Islao Velarde". Hahaha! Syempre, ayaw pa namin maniwala at pinagpilitan namin na, "Hindi po Velarde, Avik po, Avik." It is a good thing also that I use Smart because Globe have a very weak signal there. We just took a tricycle for 250. But it is such a bumpy ride!!! Sobra ang lubak! Hindi pwede ang kotse, siguradong masisira. Binigyan namin ng 300 yung mamang driver kasi sobrang hirap pala talaga ng daan dun!

At tuwang-tuwa na kami nung makarating sa Paniman. Hehehe, yun lang naiwan na naman kami dun sa island hopping nina Ate Tess pero okay lang kasi pagod na pagod kami ni Jen. We stayed at Manong Islao's house. Yun pala, Avik pala ang name ng asawa nya sus! Islao Velarde pala talaga ang pangalan nung hinahanap namin... Dapat kasi "Islao/Avik" ang tinext nila at hindi "Islao Avik". E malay ba naman namin na pangalan pala yun ng asawa at hindi apelyedo? Hahaha!!!

Ayun, kumain na lang kami dun sa tindahan ni Aling Avik. Tapos gusto ko mag-CR, so sabi ko makiki-CR ako... Waaahhhh! eto pa!!! Since it was so dark on the way to the CR inside the house at medyo hindi tama ang taas nung steps (meron kasi talagang certain height ang steps or stairs na kapag mali, matatapilok talaga ang first time na dadaan dun sabi nung isa kong friend na civil engineer). Ayun, natapilok ako! At hindi lang sya minor tapilok, isa syang major tapilok kasi lagi naman ako natatapilok pero hindi tulad nung tapilok ko dun sa Caramoan. Grabe, ang sakit! Namaga agad yung paa ko after several minutes, parang galit na galit na yung mga ugat. Huhuhu... Buti mabait yung mga tao dun kina Mang Islao. Inihanap pa ako ng hilot, pinag-igib pa kami kasi wala silang gripo at yung tubig nila e medyo maalat since sobrang lapit na sa dalampasigan. Ang babait nila...

Okay na experience din naman... After nung tapilok ko e wala na naman nangyaring kakaiba. Okay naman yung pag-stay namin dun sa bahay. Pinagluto pa kami at binigyan ng maayos na kwarto. Grabe, kakahiya! Kami pa ata ang pinatulog dun sa kwarto na isa tapos yung supposedly tutulog dun e dun sa salas natulog. Sobrang thankful kami. Tapos ang daming kwento ng mga tao dun! Dami namin natutunan lalo na about sa Survivor Philippines.

The next day naman e ayos na.. Nakasama na kami sa trip ulit. Dinaanan kami nina Kuya Jojo from Tahub to Paniman tapos derederetso na yung trip namin. Konti lang naman na-miss namin on the first day kasi yung major e on the second day.

Pero sobra talagang experience yun hehehe! Dami namin natutunan... Saka it is worth it naman kasi sobrang ganda pala talaga sa Caramoan! Dami namin first time experiences... Lalo na yung caving! Now ko lang nalaman na may talent pala ako sa rock climbing weeeehhhh!!!

Mazda 2

I saw Mazda 2 awhile ago. I thought it looks so cool and clean (white!). Hmmmmm.... Now, I am thinking of buying a car :)

Ummm... Errrr... Hmmmm

My first two weeks as a senior test analyst after a year of being a total idle... My brain is like... ummmm... hmmmm... Hahaha! I almost forgot how to work, really work...

I have minimal testing tasks as of now since I don't have a project yet, but the challenging part is that I am working with juniors and mid-levels who need guidance in testing. The first test challenge I faced this week (I stayed until 9pm yesterday in the office just because I need to help out construct an email to be sent to the analysts and developers) is hmmmmm... how to test connectivity (xml transmission, read, response, db, etc) to a third party application without an API! Wow, the tools that I have learned how to use previously are useless. Yes, I do have connectivity test experience since I worked in Escience (2005) but always with an API to process my http requests, so, I got a really big headache when I read the specifications of that project and when they seek my help on how to test the system. There is no technical design too so we have to get all the information from dev at our own... Talk about writing an email as long as a novel! Hehehe... Need to get error codes from all failure points and we need to crack our brains out thinking how to test each failure point... Hmmmm.. challenging, really... Thanks to our bff Google, always saves the day :) I am learning new technologies and test techniques again :)

Most of them have no experience with backend testing since most of them are fresh graduates. And after working at ADB where crab mentality is a fad, it is so nice to be heard once again. I mean, they take my words like gold or something. I have a chance to work with Citrix again. I thought I forgot all those things already and I was amazed that all of them are still in my head :) I just hope I could get the access to these systems, which I don't have yet since I am not yet an official member of the project. But still, it is nice to be part of such an energetic team!

It feels good to guide them... I mean, I feel happy that I can impart my knowledge once again and teach them how testing should be done :)

Now, I am back home and resuming my FB tasks hahaha! Hopefully, I could get a broadband connection and a new laptop (I just bought a pink sony vaio!) next week! Hmmmm... I am excited. Nice to break the monotony :)

Icon Cafe

It has been a year since I got really really hurt, I thought I'd never be okay. But hey, here I am still alive and kicking...

I had a very busy week. This afternoon, I went to Robinson's Lipa to buy some stuff that I need to bring to my new place in Makati (yups I finally found a place in Makati that suits my needs). Then, I passed by "Icon Cafe" and memories keep rushing back. It has been a year since I last eat there.

The first time I ordered their infamous "Tuna Melt Meal with brewed Batangas coffee" I was feeling so happy for some personal reasons. Then every time I go to Robinson's, I always eat there with the same feeling.

Then during the time that I am feeling so confused, I still eat the same meal at that same cafe.

Then last year, when I was feeling so hurt and helpless, I keep ordering the same meal and I keep eating at the same spot (window seat with a mirror at the left side). I don't know why I always choose that spot every time I eat there. Maybe because, it is where I could see my face in the mirror and my expression too. I can openly see my eyes that mirror my emotions >> from happiness to confusion to total pain and then to numbness.

Then today, I returned to the place... Something has changed in me but the place is still the same. I still choose the same old spot and I still ordered the same old meal. But when I see myself in the mirror, I saw a big change. My eyes are no longer a reflection of broken glasses. I am not completely happy but I could say that I had moved on.

I felt like there is a connection between Icon Cafe and I, the cafe that sees the seasonal and staged emotions of mine. And I felt so relieved for reasons I couldn't quite explain. I feel so light nowadays.

Time heals everything. It is true that there is no such thing as forgetting but there is only acceptance... I'll keep moving on... Who knows, maybe next time I would be eating a different meal at Icon Cafe already :)

minute

Just want some more minutes to talk... but I cannot have it like I used to...